Not Like My Teen Years



Posted: Friday, December 16, 2005

by
http://rashiah.tripod.com

Sometimes I sit around thinking about my youth. I am 32-years-old and I love to reminisce about the good old days. I openly refer to myself as “Old School." My Old School ways make me wonder about today’s youth. Their world includes new dangers, challenges and decisions that did not exist, or were less apparent, when I was growing up. Not only are they dealing with the pressures of sex, drugs and alcohol, but now there are predators and pornography on the internet, date rape drugs and many teens are confused about their sexuality. My question is when and how did things change?

I had no idea how crazy things have become until I talked to a few teenagers and parents of teens. One teen said she did not want to attend a certain high school because, “there are too many dykes there." Has being gay turned into a fad? Not to offend the lesbian community, but it seems many young and influential girls are testing the waters because they are curious. Then maybe this is something they just want to say they have tried. A few years ago someone told me of a young girl I knew saying she was into girls. Today she has two kids. I do not think those kids were produced by two women. I understand a young girl realizing she is more attracted to someone of the same sex, but it seems like a phase when they later decide they would rather be with a boy.

There is still the pressure of if and/or when to have sex. Though abstinence is the number one protection for HIV/AIDS, STDs and pregnancy, curiosity may still win. Let’s face it, all things teens do cannot be controlled or monitored 24/7. But there is good news! According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, the teenage pregnancy rate has decreased by 28% since 1991. Kind of funny how that is the year I graduated from high school. Unfortunately, 28% is not 50 or 75 or 100%. It shows that some teens are listening and avoiding having babies at an early age, but we need to get the rest to listen. Oh, there is also the possibility that the teen pregnancy rate is lower because a lot of the girls have become lesbians. Let’s ponder that thought.

I also wonder if some of the problems teens are facing are a reaction to how they are being raised. As stated before, my age group was still getting pregnant at a higher rate. We still consider ourselves young and to raise a child while still learning to be an adult can be challenging. Some young parents instantly mature, but others do not and that does not necessarily make them bad. It just makes it harder to raise a child while they are still growing up. Some of these parents try to hold onto their youth and want to still have fun. This sometimes leaves the child home alone, having to take care of him or herself. There is also the high percentage of single parents. In order to keep a place to stay and food to eat, that parent may have to take on more than one job at a time, again leaving the child home alone at times. Both of these situations may lead to the teen finding comfort and support elsewhere. They may turn to someone they will become intimate with or maybe join a gang or a not-so-good clique. They may be searching for the relationship they are missing at home.

I do not want to point the finger, but I will point out how media has changed in a decade. I used to disagree with people when they blamed movies and music for youth being violent and promiscuous. I always said there were other factors, such as family, friends or some sort of emotional problem, that caused teens to do strange and self-destructive things. Now that I am a parent, my opinion has changed a little. I still believe those factors are significant, but I now think the media can have some kind of influence on teens, whether positive or negative. Girls are having problems with self-image and self-esteem because their body does not look like the girls on TV. Boys seem to think words like ho, trick and chickenhead is ok to call a female. I will not allow my 4-year-old to watch music videos because of the explicit lyrics, provocative dancing and revealing clothes, well when they wear anything at all. I have to catch up on the latest songs after she goes to sleep, and I’m still behind.

I will not pretend as if things on TV were innocent when I was a teen, but I think the words were more subliminal. I listen to songs now that were out years ago and realized I used to sing nasty words.

I wonder if teens now are making such radical decisions because they are not sure of what to do and how to find answers on handling sexuality, drugs, emotions, as well as other issues that surround them on a regular basis. Is enough being done to save them? I guess we will see what happens to this generation and hope with the help of the community they will fight to not become statistics. Sometimes it does take a village.

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